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Sometimes I wish I never loved anybody. Life would be so much easier. It’s hard letting go when you have so much to hold on to. Please make me let go and move on. Please. I really don’t want to feel like this. This pain, this hurt, these tears are so real.

Me and my broken heart…

I tend not to tell ppl anything about myself because I figure they won’t get it. Not even family.

I pour out my heart and always end up drying up the pieces alone. Go figure. But it’s cool though. *shrugs *

When you’ve lived the life I have you get used to the disappointments, heartaches, and the heart breaks.

When it heals I just get prepared till it gets broken again or till I remember something that shatters it.

I must say it’s a pretty strong heart cause its had it’s fair share of bruises.

It’s hard. It’s very hard. Everyday I get up, it’s very hard.

My happiest moments are when I’m distracted. It sucks to be alone.

The sound of loneliness is depressing and terrifying. Hear these sounds daily. *shrugs*

Whenever I venture out and decide to open up, ppl think I’m weird and possibly crazy. Even a b! *@# I’m sure. They always see my reaction and chastise me but never see the role they play.

I’ll never really say anything to them so I guess I’ll continue being alone and scared with each of these pieces of my broken heart.

There should always be a bright side…

I miss you. I miss you so much.
I miss our talks.
I miss when I knew what you were thinking.
I miss being a really great friend to you.
I miss staying up and being stupid.
I miss laughing at everything.
I miss how we would argue and then fix it.
I miss it all.
I’ve been trying to say it but I’m so afraid to because I don’t want to make you cry or come in the way of your happiness.
I don’t want to not add anything to your life.
I don’t want to mess up and lose you, though I feel I already have many times. Not all of you, just the part that really cared about me. (Don’t mean to sound selfish)
It’s not everyday that I meet someone that steals my heart. Well, it’s never really because I’m usually careful with it, but you found a way around that. Like you robbed me blind! No lie.
It’s been a struggle, this distance. It’s actually broken me a few times…more than a few but who’s counting?
If you’re happy, I’m happy. Honestly, I live for your happiness, so it’s all good. Well, no, it really isn’t.
I don’t know what else to do anymore because, well, I don’t know how else to try.
You mean the world to me, you know, you really do and when you plan to give me my heart back, please be gentle with it because I don’t think it can be broken again. It’s a little passed fragile.
Fear…sucks. But losing you kills and I think I die a little bit everyday…
Sigh…PS, I’m still sorry.

Peaks of the bright side keep me going.

Feeling like you have no purpose when all you want to do is love someone and have them love you back the same way sucks. It breaks you really. Like, is it too much to ask to feel worthy of someone? Sigh. Feels like all I do is mess things up and force people away…I just want someone to stay. I really do. Stay and not be afraid to try with me. Sigh. A girl can wish.
Every time I’m alone I think myself into a time bomb. If I’m not busy, I’m thinking, when I’m distracted, I don’t have time to think. I’m always tired cause of this.
One day I’ll be fine. It just takes time. Heart, just stop doing this to me. I’m not cut out for this. There will be a moment when I can deal and cope. Just not right now. One day. One day I’ll be fine. One day I’ll be very fine. One day I’ll be able to appreciate all of this. One day I won’t be bothered anymore. One day it’ll get better. One day I’ll be fine. One day I’ll be fine. Just one day I’ll be fine. A day to come, I’ll be fine. One day, I’ll be fine. Lord knows, one day I’ll be fine. I will be.
I’ve learned the hardest possible way not to force myself into people’s lives because they eventually never need me anymore. I need to start accepting this and stop trying to hold on to something that’s not there or won’t be. I’m a sucker for promises and believing people. I don’t want friends, I don’t want family, I don’t want anybody because everyone ALWAYS leaves! I’m sorry to myself that I keep on doing this because I’m the only one that feels it. IT HURTS SOOOOOOO BAADDD. I’m tired of crying about this.
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