Now that everybody’s gone you move me from the back burner…so I seem to become important only when ppl leave, not that you’ve chosen to make the space. Nice. Thanks….
Somewhere, there’s a bright side…
The moment when…
Sometimes I feel it would be better for others if I weren’t around…nothing bad, just if I wasn’t here. Sometimes I don’t want to be around. I’m tired of these feelings…its like never ending never mending hurt…gets better, then right back to where it was. Sigh. Expecting of people, then when it doesn’t happen, its a whole new pain. And I know not to expect of others, but I still do. Being a part of other people’s lives, I don’t know if I add anything to it at times. I try, I really do, but I just don’t know. Beating myself up, I’m good at that. Do it daily so I’m at the expert level actually. My head and my heart always feel the need to become more involved than necessary, and then I’m left with having to pick up the pieces.
I’ve become very angry lately too cause of all these feelings. I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t like who I’m becoming either cause I don’t know who it is.
Then again, there’s always a bright side…somewhere.
my dog is getting scared of the storm so he’s hiding in the cat basket...
YOU’RE NOT A CAT
YOU DON’T EVEN FIT IN IT
(via/follow The Absolute Funniest Posts Blog)
Wish I cud stop…
I REALLY wish this constant struggle and fight with myself would just end…I’m just not sure if it will end well. I pray it does. For every 3 steps forward, there seems to be 2 back…all the time. But I blame myself because I’ve surrounded myself and caused myself to be influenced by people who should have no part of my life. And now, I’m stuck with them in it and trying to remove them is hard…very hard. My problem; I care too much and get too attached to people. Always assuming the best of and about people until the true them “comes out” and then I’m thrown. Surrounded by so many undesirables, its cutting almost. Sigh. Its a struggle and a battle…all the time. Can never find enough to do to occupy my time, mind, and attention…always end up thinking about it. I don’t want to anymore, but I can’t really help it. I’ve tried..yeah, that’s about it…I’ve tried. If only I could stop caring long enough so that it wouldn’t hurt like this. And its like no matter who I tell, they just don’t seem to get it. So I stopped telling and keep it all inside, till times like these of course. Having such a big heart apparently means getting a lot of big hurt. I JUST REALLY WISH I COULDN’T CARE ANYMORE… :( :(
Bright side…I know ur there.
